*Dating & Benefits permissible
superbunny 02/18/10
It's all about the chemicals/hormones (dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine) the brain produces when the hypothalamus is stimulated. This chemical cocktail creates the insatiable feelings of lust, but only lasts 6 months to 2 years, depending on the individual. If one person's chemical cocktail is out of sync with their partner, it can result in a one-sided lack of interest.
Bonding hormones (Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Endorphins) eventually replace the attraction chemicals that brought you together in the first place and account for reduced sexual desire, alongside the usual external factors.
Biologically and evolutionarily, we weren't meant to have one sexual partner for life.
Bonding hormones (Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Endorphins) eventually replace the attraction chemicals that brought you together in the first place and account for reduced sexual desire, alongside the usual external factors.
Biologically and evolutionarily, we weren't meant to have one sexual partner for life.
This is not a new phenomenon - this problem has been around since the first homo sapien hetero couple decided that a little sex would be fun...In a purely physical sense, men are not hardwired for monogamy. It's just plain difficult to get an erection with someone you've been sleeping with for over a year, no matter how you "spice it up". Sure, it happens, but it takes more and more effort as time goes on - something about certain hormones and enzymes not firing after a certain degree of familiarity. There are numerous published, peer reviewed, scientific studies that confirm this. Bad husbands cheat, good husbands get Viagra, or some other sexual stimulant. Do you REALLY think that 70 percent of the male population over 40 have Erectile Dysfunction - there are more men on Viagra who just want to please their wives than there are men with real ED. When a man says he's "stressed" he probably means "you are absolutely beautiful and I love you but if we jump in the sack you're gonna experience rejection on a much more personal level that you really want, and I'm gonna end up with really bad performance anxiety - it's easier to just say no." I've been married 14 years and we went through this exact problem. I was really freaking out because I had no problem getting aroused - I just could not do it with my wife in bed with me, and when i could I was always anxious that I would "lose" it at any moment. She's the one who suggested I go see a doctor and he said this was very common with married couples, so now i take medication when my wife is in the mood (or when I'm hoping she'll be in the mood) and it has been a real marriage saver - and I have fun too because I don't get the performance anxiety.
